With Rockstar’s Grand Theft Auto V recently being revealed as Gameinformer’s next cover story, one can only wonder what Rockstar plans to do with its other triple-A franchise; “Red Dead”. Join us in a look at what are probably the least likely subtitles for Rockstar’s future sequel.
8. Red Dead Rejection
We’re not even sure what this game would require players to do. It would probably be a mix of Heavy Rain’s Quick Time Events and Mass Effects Dialog choice. Of course, unlike both of those games, there would only be one ending. A 360-degree view of a man of the West bawling his eyes out.
7. Red Dead Redip
Red Dead Redip would probably play similarly to Red Dead Redemption, but instead of a luscious open world, players would be restricted to playing in one party room. The quickest way to get 5-star wanted would be to double dip you’re tortilla chip into the bowl of salsa (or whatever dip you prefer) at least twice. Dip three or more times for bonus points.
6. Red Dead Rehabilitation
SPOILERS: Marston ends up pretty bad off at the end of Red Dead Redemption, he would need at least a week of rehabilitation to get back on his horse shooting thieves as he does. The gameplay would, much like Red Dead Rejection, require players to do QTEs… and… not much else.
5. Red Dead Rebound
Red Dead Rebound would play similarly to NBA JAM but with more Cowboy hats and guns… That’s about all there is to say about that.
4. Red Dead Renovation
Red Dead Redemption was set near the end of the Wild West’s life, with complete industrialism so close, the Marstons could probably use a nicer house. This game would allow players to build their dream house, paint walls, and adjust furniture to their liking, all while standing in the shoes of John Marston. Exciting, I know.
3. Red Dead Recluse
After thinking about it, this would actually be awesome. The game would start with a cut-scene that depicts a cowboy dying. Then boom! He’s reincarnated into a Cowboy spider! The game would play almost identically to Red Dead Redemption, only, you’re playing a spider, so instead of shooting bullets at bandits you shoot webs at… I don’t know, fiendish flies I guess…
2. Red Dead Retirement
Red Dead retirement would be very similar to playing Red Dead Redemption after you’ve completed everything. You play cards, hunt, and sleep.
“Quick Marston! That guy’s stuffing dvds into his pants!”
1. Red Dead Retail
(Red Dead Redemption spoilers)
Red Dead Retail would take place in a alternate time-line where instead of being killed, John Marston (while in his farm house) is visited by a time traveler named Larry Mcarthy-Pants. Larry takes our grizzled hero to the future where he lands a job at BestBuy and ultimately saves the world… As one does.Tell us some silly titles you came up with in the comments section below!